Lab Notes Blog

Introduction 

Some percentage of the people reading this will understand how hard I had to resist quoting that one K-Pop Demon Hunters song while writing this lab note. IYKYK.

There are great resources to explain the golden vs. platinum rules (like this one), so instead, I will share a real story from earlier in my career. 

A story from the field

Once upon a time, in a lab far away…

I was coaching a scrum team who was developing new features for a legacy software product in a very hierarchical organization. The team was talented, enthusiastic, and had a good relationship with their Product Owner (PO), "Maximo." Maximo had many strengths as a PO, and he was passionate about the work.

The team was several sprints into the work by the time I was brought in. One day, the scrum team pulled me aside with hushed, worried looks on their faces. We all knew that not once had they ever reached the sprint goal set by Maximo* and they chronically carried work over to the next sprint. To everyone's credit, they kept examining why during their retrospectives. The team was nervous because after triaging lesser causes, they determined the real problem was how Maximo* kept setting a sprint goal for something wildly unattainable. 

Like, ‘double the hours in a day’ unattainable.

(*For any scrum practitioners in the audience, please try to ignore the obvious anti-patterns in this story. That's a topic for another day.) 

The team asked me for advice on getting Maximo to listen to their concerns. They explained how, despite Maximo's cheerleading, they each found it demoralizing and exhausting to keep failing to hit a goal so far out of reach.

I went to get Maximo's side of the story. To paraphrase the end of our chat:

Me: “… so do you get how demoralized the team feels now? Even though you're happy with their output?”

Maximo: “Yeah, but…this is good for them. Stretch goals are good goals.”

Me: “How so?”

Maximo: “When I'm working, I like setting an impossible goal instead of setting a low bar for something easier. That way if I do reach my stretch goal, it feels that much more awesome.”

That's when it hit me.

Maximo had applied the golden rule in his goal-setting style for the team. And he was still applying it despite getting feedback from the team. 

Here was an opportunity to apply the platinum rule for better outcomes.

Golden & Platinum: an overview

For a wonderfully succinct explanation about the golden rule vs. the platinum rule, visit https://leaderforgood.com/platinum-rule/. I'll frame what each of these informal culture 'rules' boil down to in the context of my field story.

💛Golden rule: "Treat others as I want to be treated."

>> Maximo liked working to extreme goals, so that's what he did for the team each sprint**.

🩶Platinum rule: "Treat others as they want to be treated."

>> The team felt more comfortable starting with more attainable goals, which clashed with Maximo’s preference**. They needed help to understand each other and co-create a more inclusive solution.

(**ok so the agile coach in me just needs to say: the team should set the sprint goal, not the PO. But sometimes they gotta live it before they believe it.)

How each principle helps you

One thing to keep in mind: it's easy to lose nuance when a concept is reduced to an eight-word sentence. Both 'rules' are tools. Each has utility, and that utility depends on the application context and the skill of the person wielding it. 

There have been arguments about how one rule is better than the other, and how much socio-emotional competence is needed to apply the platinum rule well. While I generally agree, I think that each rule has its merits. Hear me out:

The golden rule requires us to be curious, caring, and brave enough to get to know ourselves. Self-awareness is an incredibly valuable skill in the workplace (and life) as a gateway to much greater outcomes. 

Conclusion

How did my field story end? Once Maximo listened to the team, he agreed to practice the platinum rule, and they all adopted better scrum practices. Within three sprints they started achieving better, happier results and even started accelerating.

When we get to know ourselves better, we can advocate for ourselves better. 

When we continuously build practice for getting to know ourselves AND respectfully getting to know others better, we can advocate for everyone (ourselves included!) better AND do much more awesome things together than we could otherwise. 

Now someone please get HUNTR/X to release a sequel power ballad about platinum. 🐯🪴🐦‍⬛

References

1. Brown, B. (2025). Strong Ground. Random House. New York. https://brenebrown.com/book/strong-ground/